He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
