Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
