I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
