then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
sarcasm needs its own font
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
