I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
love makes seman taste better
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
