I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
