My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
