you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
