Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
