Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
