Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
