Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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