I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
this will be a night to untag.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
