We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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