Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
