kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
