Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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