know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize