this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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