I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
