well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
