Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
