Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
