Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
