Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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