If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Holy sore nipples Batman
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
