Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
