honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
No subtext here. People are naked.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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