He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She announced her abortion via fbk
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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