the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
