She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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