So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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