Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
bring money and cleavage
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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