I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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