he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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