She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
