Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
