You work out of a Hotel?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
