youre lurking in front of me
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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