so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
