Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
