Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
