So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
