I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
