he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
