she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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