Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
