I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I need a burrito and a hug.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
