the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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