I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
