I skipped work to stalk him.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
