Sponge bath it is.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
