those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
this boner is exhausting
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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