first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
